Dear Everyone;
I received this health alert from the CDC in Atlanta and for your own safety you must review it and be alert to similar changes in your behaviour.
Ron Getty
SF Libertarian
Health Alert from CDC in Atlanta
- Immediate Release -
New STD: Gonorrhea Lectim
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a warning
about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease.
The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him." Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years.
Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include:
1. Anti-social personality disorders.
2. Delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones.
3. Extreme cognitive dissonance.
4. Inability to incorporate new information.
5. Pronounced xenophobia.
6. Delusional paranoia with overtones of dementia praecox.
7. Inability to accept responsibility for own actions.
8. Cowardice masked by misplaced bravado.
9. Uncontrolled facial smirking.
10. Ignorance of geography and history.
11. Tendencies towards evangelical theocracy.
12. Categorical all-or-nothing behavior.
Epidemiologists, naturalists, biologists, entomologists and astral-nuclear physicists and assorted conspiracy theorists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found near Crawford, Texas.
If you exhibit any of these behaviorial traits immediately seek competent psychiatric assistance. It is for your own good. Heavy dosages of lithium may help offset any of these behaviorial traits before they become permanently embedded in your psyche.
Or as an alternative run for elective office as President of the United Sates of America. You will probably get elected.