slightly off topicEuro-English

European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English will be the
official language of the European Union
rather than German, which was the other
possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British
Government conceded that English spelling
had some room for improvement and has accepted
a 5- year phase-in plan that would become
known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft
"c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil
servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of
"k". This should klear up konfusion,
and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in
the sekond year when the troublesome "ph"
will be replaced with "f". This will make words
like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the
new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of
double letters which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the
silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful
and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to
steps such as replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be
dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl
riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and
evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking
German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.