A month ago, I read on the Motley Fool Conservative Voter forum a
very nasty diatribe. Soon after, it was sent to me by a friend who
listens to Republicans too much. I have posted both here for our
mutual edification. First is the screed that prompted me to write a
Libertarian riposte, then my response. Enjoy.
WHY I AM VOTING DEMOCRAT
I'm voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better
job of spending the money I earn than I would.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on
a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon
of gas at 15% isn't.
I'm voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as
nobody is offended by it.
I'm voting Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the
bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're
good people.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us
if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will
melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe discussing Christ in our
schools is offensive but atheism, Islam, Buddhism, Occultism & any
other religion is OK because these religions are peaceful &
Christians are warlike.
I'm voting Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of
millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe that business should not be
allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and
give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see
fit.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe three or four pointy headed
elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to
suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the
voters.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe that when the terrorists don't
have to hide from us over there, when they come over here I don't
want to have any guns in the house to fight them off with.
I'm voting Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry
whatever I want. I've decided to marry a horse.
WHY I AM VOTING LIBERTARIAN
I'm voting Libertarian because I believe the government rarely does a
better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
I'm voting Libertarian because I believe oil companies' profits of 4%
on a gallon of gas are subsidized by a government tax code that
favors only those with the best lobbyists, and because government
taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% is obscene.
I'm voting Libertarian because freedom of speech means too little to
the existing duopoly.
I'm voting Libertarian because when we pull out of Iraq, my country
can concentrate on finding and punishing the REAL bad guys.
I'm voting Libertarian because I believe that people who can't tell
us if it will rain on Friday ARE telling us that the polar ice caps
will melt away in ten years unless the government gets more power
over our energy choices.
I'm voting Libertarian because I believe discussing Christ in our
schools is fine, as well as discussing atheism, Islam, Buddhism,
Occultism & any other religion is OK as long as my tax dollars are
not subsidizing the promulgation of any one of them.
I'm voting Libertarian because I am deeply concerned about any
political party that will accuse members of the opposing party of the
slaughter of millions of babies.
I'm voting Libertarian because I believe that business and
individuals should be allowed to make profits for themselves.
Taxation without representation is the same as telling us we need to
break even and give the rest away to the government for
redistribution as THEY see fit.
I'm voting Libertarian because I believe the churlish name calling in
this diatribe typifies what passes for political dialogue between the
two major parties: "I'm voting Democrat because I believe three or
four pointy headed elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution
every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their
agendas past the voters."
I'm voting Libertarian because I believe that the terrorists are
not "over there", they have no national boundaries. When they come
over here I want the right to have guns in the house to fight them
off with.
I'm voting Libertarian because I agree with Benjamin Franklin
that "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little
temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."
I'm voting Libertarian because I love the fact that I can now marry
whatever I want. I've decided to marry a horse, because Donkeys and
Elephants are already in bed with each other.