ccrealestate@...; Subject: Unbelievable!
Dear Most Everyone I've met,
I'm now the San Francisco Libertarian Examiner, writing daily news
commentary from a Libertarian perspective. Go on. Click on it. That's why
I'm writing this.
Due to an arcane compensation model that is beyond my control and well over
my head, I am paid based on who reads, (or rather clicks on) the articles.
It's so much fun to click around! - Try it!
Some of you may be wondering "who in the hell is this Justin guy?" Well
click right here and my picture may jog your memory in case you want to
thank me in person/punch me in the face the next time we cross paths/swords.
You'll probably want to click on that one anyway - it's a pretty good
looking picture. Then click on this twice. Now do it again.
Wait... look at this - Here's an article on drug decriminalization that
worked in Portugal...
Oh my god! Here's one on how Obama is thinking about blowing up the arctic
to save the climate!
I suggest forwarding this to your friends for their own edification. Maybe
include a tantalizing subject line, like:
"Freshest Voice in American Journalism!", or
"Get a Load of this Mongoloid!" or
Also make sure to include a thinly veiled threat to ensure that they click
on the links. If you can physically force them to sign up for the RSS feed
that'd be great, but blackmail is usually just as effective and can easily
be conducted over long distances via email. In fact, if you don't forward
this to your friends and forcibly get them to click on stuff, I'll tell
everyone that secret you told me in confidence that would totally ruin your
life if anyone but me found out. You know the one.
For anyone who is unfamiliar with Libertarians, we usually don't like the
government at all - we are generally described as very socially liberal and
very fiscally conservative. I don't approve of most government action, but
so help me god I would be at your door in one minute with the secret police
to force you to click these links if it were in my power.
If you don't want to recieve any emails from me anymore in the future, click
here to be removed from the list. Just kidding. That was another link to my
P.S. - there will be new articles up by me almost every day, so make sure to
check back often. I don't want to have to send you another strongly worded