Sam Sloan for President My Campaign Speech Version 1.0
My family is from Iowa. My father was a lawyer, a graduate of State
University of Iowa Law School. My mother was a doctor, a graduate of State
University of Iowa Medical School. Five of my uncles fought in World War
II, experiencing the heaviest fighting. One of my uncles fought in the
Battle of the Bulge, another uncle fought in the Invasion of Iwo Jima. A
third uncle was a B-29 pilot who flew 30 bombing missions over Japan
including the mission that dropped the A-bomb on Nagasaki. Two of those
uncles later became career military officers fighting in the Korean War too.
Of my eight children, three are in the military. I have a daughter in the
US Marines who served in the war in Iraq, a son in the US Marines and
another son in the US Army who just got back from a tour of duty in Iraq,
that country where we supposedly have no boots on the ground.
And just as five of my uncles and three of my children have defended our
country, if those ISI should ever try to land here I will take my gun
myself and I and my children will defend our country down on the beaches of
Brighton Beach Brooklyn, We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on
the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we
shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
And as to those residents of other countries of the world, they too should
defend their own countries because my family, our soldiers will be
defending our own country and sorry but we do not have the capability nor
the desire to fight various foreign wars all around the world in places
with names we cannot even pronounce and can hardly find on the map, so our
troops will stay home as long as I am president.
And to those who keep asking us for more and more money I will say what I
often have to say to my own children which is sorry Mr. Netanyahu but we
are broke right now but when we finally get some money we will try to help
you out.
But in the mean time, your people need you so you need to go home to be
with your own people and since your frequent visits here at our expense are
for the political purpose of undermining the policies of the US government
your visa is hereby revoked.
The policies of the other political party is to keep boots off the ground
by dropping bombs on various countries of the world. They want us to drop
bombs on Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan and Syria. Their policies are simple. If a
problem develops in any country of the world, just drop a bomb on it. That
will solve the problem. If we happen to drop a bomb on a school or a
hospital or a marriage party as often happens, that is just collateral
damage, perfectly understandable they say.
Although I recognize that there are some cases where it is necessary to
drop bombs, my policy will be in general to avoid bomb dropping. Let those
other countries solve their own problems.
I want to address what I call the idiot factor among some of the other
candidates. For example there is one candidate who wants to build a wall
between the United States and Mexico. Perhaps he never took geography in
high school and does not even know that the border between the US and
Mexico is mostly a river. Does he want to build his wall on this side of
the river, on their side of the river or in the middle of the river? Since
the people of both countries need to use that river, how will he solve that
problem?Then there is his claim that people born in the USA should not be
citizens unless both of their parents were also born here. It would seem he
is not familiar with the 14th Amendment of the Constitution which states
that everyone born in the United States is a citizen. Now he says we can
get around that. What he must be saying is we should repeal the 14th
Amendment. But that is the amendment that abolished slavery. It is
understandable that he wants to abolish slavery, because then he will not
have to pay his blackjack dealers minimum wage because they will be his
slaves.
Going to the opposite extreme, we have the other idiot factor, the
so-called Democrats who want us to stop using gasoline. When they say they
want to stop us from using fossil fuels, do you realize what that means?
That means they want us to stop using gasoline, because gasoline is made of
old dinosaur bones. I agree with that. I agree that we should stop using
gasoline too, but we cannot. We cannot stop using gasoline because then how
would we get to work? Some of us still work. Until an alternative fuel
source is developed and available, we will still have to use gasoline to
get to work.
You need to understand that there is a basic economic theory behind
everything they say. That is the Work Value Theory of Labor. How many of
you have even heard of that? Not too many I suspect but I know all about it
because I studied it when I went to the University of California at
Berkeley. The Work Value Theory of Labor works well up to a point. It says
that the value of a pair of shoes is the number of man hours it takes to
make the pair of shoes. The problem with this theory is that it fails to
take into consideration the time and expense of getting the product to
market to the place where people will want to buy it. The failure to figure
in the transportation costs is the flaw which has caused every government
based on this theory to fail. The reason that the candidates on the Lunatic
Left want to require us to stop using gasoline is because they have failed
to learn the lessons of history, which is the Work Value Theory of Labor
does not work.
The Lunatic Left says they will take all the money away from the
billionaires. Who are those billionaires? Obviously the richest man in the
world is Gates. Next is Zuckberberg. Third billionaire is Ellison. Fourth
is Page.
So, Bernie plans to take away all the money from Gates, Zuckberberg,
Ellison and Page and give it all to the homeless people.
This would all be well and good, but then we will have no windows, we would
have no facebook, we would have no google. How can life have any meaning
without windows, facebook and google? Can we tolerate this? And as for the
homeless people, it would probably take them two weeks to spend it all and
we would be back where we started.
The Lunatic Left and the Radical Right do not have the answers to the
questions we face. What we need is somebody in the middle. That is why you
should vote for me for President.
Sam Sloan