Obama Promises Syria Strike Will Have No Objective : The New Yorker

You can't make this stuff up!

"WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Attempting to quell criticism of his
proposal for a limited military mission in Syria, President Obama
floated a more modest strategy today, saying that any U.S. action in
Syria would have 'no objective whatsoever.'

'Let me be clear,' he said in an interview on CNN. 'Our goal will not be
to effect régime change, or alter the balance of power in Syria, or
bring the civil war there to an end. We will simply do something random
there for one or two days and then leave.'

'I want to reassure our allies and the people of Syria that what we are
about to undertake, if we undertake it at all, will have no purpose or
goal,' he said. 'This is consistent with U.S. foreign policy of the past.'
That criticism led White House spokesman Jay Carney to brief reporters
later in the day, arguing that the President was willing to scale down
the U.S. mission to “twenty-four hours, thirty-six tops.”

'It may take twenty-four hours, but it could also take twelve,' Mr.
Carney said.

'Maybe we get in there, take a look around, and get out right away. But
however long it takes, one thing will not change: this mission will have
no point. The President is resolute about that.'"

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/08/obama-promises-syria-strike-will-have-no-objective.html

And, obviously, we'll be welcomed as liberators.

And it's not even /The Onion/...

It’s very interesting how difficult it’s become to discriminate reality from satire. One recalls Tom Lehrer’s saying years ago that political satire became impossible after Henry Kissinger got the Nobel Peace Prize. But the Borowitz Report is a satirical column.