http://www.thedailybell.com/28458/Joel-F-Wade-Internalized-Oppression
Internalized Oppression
Wednesday, December 19, 2012 – by Joel F. Wade
Joel Wade
Over the summer, my family and I went for a walk in the
nearby woods. There is a shallow creek winding its way through a
beautiful redwood forest and we thought it would be fun to take our
Malamute puppy, who loves the water, for a slosh up the creek. There we
were, having a lovely time wading through the water, our dog in a state
of canine bliss and the four of us laughing and enjoying the day... Then the thought appeared in my mind, quite uninvited:
"I wonder if this is okay to do. Should we ask the ranger to see if this is allowed?"
This is not good.
I remember as a kid riding my bike through trails in a nearby park,
my bb gun strapped to the frame. My thoughts were entirely focused on
flying through the woods, looking for a good spot to shoot, loving the
day, feeling the wind on my face, the warmth of the sun, the beauty of
nature around me and the freedom of spending the afternoon having a great adventure.
It was pure fun. This is one of the memories that bring me great joy
to this day. It wasn't an unusual day; I had many just like it. That one memory represents them all and the joy that I feel is compounded and
deepened by knowing that I spent many days just like this.
One thought that never, ever occurred to me was, "Is this allowed?"
Of course it was allowed. This is a park; its purpose for existence is
for our enjoyment. I needed to know if it was allowed by my parents but I knew the general guidelines for that: be home by dinner, don't do
anything too stupid ... I think that about covered it.
This spirit vanished last summer, the moment that thought – "I
wonder if this is okay to do. Should we ask the ranger to see if this is allowed?" – entered my mind.
Well, actually, it vanished for a moment. My next thought was, "Wow,
that's weird." And then I talked about it with my wife, who was having
the same thought and we laughed at how ridiculous it was and continued
having a great time perambulating the creek for the next couple of
hours. That was one of our great times together over the summer, one
that we'll probably all remember fondly for a very, very long time.
But it could've been ruined by the kind of internalized oppression that I fear our culture has begun to get used to.
Have you noticed this? Are there situations where maybe 20-30 years
ago you would never have thought, "I wonder whether this is allowed?"
but now you do? It may not be a strong thought. It may be something that you notice and brush off like a harmless bug on your arm. But there it
is now – and it wasn't there before.
I don't want to get too worked up about this. We internalize rules
all the time. There are traffic rules, work guidelines, rules of good
manners... these are all just behaviors that we habituate so our more or less automatic behavior is functional in the world. Such thoughts are
no different in principle.
But they are different, and more intrusive, than they used to be. And this is a matter that requires our conscious awareness.
There are rules that allow us to get along better. There are rules in the park that legitimately help people to have a better day – pick up
after your dog, don't do things that would start a forest fire, things
like that.
There are some rules that weren't there 20-30 years ago that
are genuinely positive; there is much more awareness about issues of
child abuse, for example. There are safety habits that would've been
scoffed at when I was a kid that actually save and improve lives today
(though there is a big difference between safety habits that we are persuaded to adopt voluntarily and safety laws that are imposed upon us).
But the controlling impulse tends to build a momentum; when one
problem is apparently solved by making a rule some people assume that
more rules will automatically solve more problems – and solving problems is good, right?
My wife went for a different walk in the woods with an acquaintance
from her work a few years back. This gal was married to some kind of
environmental scientist and so they were by nature environmental control freaks. When my wife said something about all the rules there are now
just to take a walk in the park, this zealot said:
"If it were up to me there would be a lot more rules for the parks. I'd make it a lot more strict."
Of course she would. This is what matters to her. She wants people to behave in nature the way she thinks they should. And the zealot who
runs the local planning department wants people to build their houses
the way she thinks they should be built. And the zealot on the school
board wants kids to learn what he thinks they should learn. And the
zealot with the parks department wants to imprison people for getting
too close to a whale (this actually happened recently in Monterey Bay).
And, of course, the zealot in the White House wants the whole country to bow to his enlightened will.
We all know that it takes conscious awareness and involvement if we
want to keep our freedom – the cost of liberty is eternal vigilance.
But this vigilance is not only external. It's one thing when the
rules on the outside become oppressive – which they have – but you also
play a personal role in this: Your internal acceptance of an oppressive
mindset is necessary for allowing an oppressive government to continue
to intrude further into our lives. It is this internal acceptance and
adaptation that allows people to continue to obey an authority that is
out of control.
When one person questions oppressive authority, the likelihood that
those who witness that questioning will also question it increases
dramatically. If this happens widely enough, pretty soon you may begin
to see a turn toward greater liberty.
Begin to look for the messages you tell yourself about what you can
and cannot do, what is allowed and what is not. There are plenty of
things that you legitimately should not do; but having a fun time with
your family walking up a creek in the park is not among them.
Joel F. Wade, Ph.D. is a Life Coach who works with people
around the world via phone and e-mail. He can be reached for life
coaching service at jwade@... or through his website, www.drjoelwade.com, where you can arrange a free 20-30 minute phone call and see whether
coaching can help you to make the changes you want and reach the goals
you aspire to. Joel is the author of Mastering Happinessand A Pocket Guide to Mastering Happiness. "A highly skilled clinician, trained in a variety of psychological disciplines, Joel Wade is a man of immense sensitivity and compassion who has a wide
repertoire of problem-solving strategies to bring to the practice of
Coaching." Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D., author of The Art of Living Consciously.