FYI - Re: The LPSF holiday party

Francoise,

  At our monthly meeting this past Saturday December 13, Michael
Edelstein and I were helping Marcy prepare the postcards to send out
to members, which listed your party on the 17th. Obviously those
postcards would not have been delivered any earlier than Monday the
15th, so any members finding out about the party by postcard and
wanting to attend will apparently not be able to do so. In fact we
also had two new guests at the meeting whom I told about the party
and gave postcards. My guess is that neither Marcy nor Michael knew
of, or remembered, the deadline either, since I believe they were
present and I do not recall them saying anything about needing to
RSVP by that same day. Hopefully neither of those guests wanted to
attend.

  I have an irregular schedule and frequently make last-minute
decisions about how to use my time (hence my calling you to RSVP and
ask about food to bring yesterday, not having read the Evite to know
this would be a problem). For this reason, as well as to avoid
situations like the one described above, I would prefer that we not
have future LPSF holiday parties at your place unless you are willing
to be more flexible. As it stands, I will not be attending the party,
even though I would like to, because it appears I am not welcome.

      ((( starchild )))

Starchild,

If the cards went out on Mon., many residents will have received them
yesterday. For the spontaneous schedulers (I'm not one) this evening's
party may work well.

Warm regards, Michael

Starchild wrote:

Francoise,

I would prefer that we not
have future LPSF holiday parties at your place

Starchild,

Your preference therefore would be that we not have a holiday party at
all this year.

I asked not once, but twice, at two consecutive monthly meetings, who
was interested in hosting. Francoise said at the first one that she
would be willing, but that there would be constraints such as an RSVP
deadline, and so she suggested we keep looking for a host. But, as of
the next meeting, there were no more volunteers, so we accepted
Francoise's offer.

The host gets to set the rules, and Francoise was saying MONTHS AGO that
she'd not be able to allow any last-minute RSVPs or non-RSVPs into her
home. I think that's a totally fair requirement, especially given that
the title of the notice on the front page of the website for over a
month now was "LPSF Holiday Party Dec 17 - RSVP Required by Dec 13!" --
See it for yourself at http://www.lpsf.org/ and you'll notice it has a
November 14 timestamp.

If the host chooses to make exceptions to her rule, that too is her
right. But as for future LPSF events, please understand that reasonable
requests (like an RSVP at least 100 hours in advance, so the host can
shop accordingly), will not be rejected by the membership.

On a personal note, Starchild, you need to consider whether it's a good
idea to continue pissing off the hosts of Libertarian social events.
I've heard stories about you being banned from a regular dinner party
hosted by Jeannie (sp?) many years ago, and I personally experienced the
fun of having you jump up on the ledge on my 43rd-floor roof garden back
in 2003, which was caught on security camera, so that I had to promise
the building owners not to invite you back as long as I lived there.
And now, you're telling Francoise that you'd rather her not host any
more parties than require that you and others give a reasonable 100-hour
RSVP. Starchild, party hosts should be begging you, the life of any
party, to attend, not the other way around. Perhaps you're treating the
hosts in some manner that you may want to reconsider in the future.

Thanks again to Francoise for hosting tonight. I'm really looking
forward to it!

Rob

Starchild wrote:

Dear Francoise,

I do apologize for having invited the two guests at the LPSF meeting
without remembering the perfectly reasonable deadline you clearly told
us about. Since they have not called (I am assuming, have they?) the
controversy seems rather irrelevant at this time.

Thank you again for volunteering to host this Holiday Party. Goodness
knows we at the LPSF can use some positive outreach in our efforts to
bring folks into our fold.

I am quite certain that, except for Starchild, we at LPSF are very
grateful for your offering your home for this event.

Regards,

Marcy

Dear Everyone,

Mea culpa. I did write the postcards without remembering the RSVP
deadline. My apologies, especially to Francoise. I hope all will
turn out OK at the end, without too many people freaking out.

Marcy

Dear Francoise,

I apologize also.

The deadline failed to register on my brain although if it was on the
card I'm sure I looked right at it.

I will try to be more cognizant in the future.

Warm regards, Michael

Starchild,

If I were to attempt to put myself in Francoise's shoes, I would think
just one person requesting an exception from the advanced notice
request would not be a problem.

Perhaps I'm mistaken but rather than requesting Francoise for an
exemption in your case, you seem to have assumed there's no wiggle
room, it's etched in stone.

Perhaps a more moderate approach in the future would serve you well.

Warm regards, Michael

Michael,

  That's what I would have thought also, but when I called to RSVP and
spoke with Francoise by phone, I specifically asked her, twice,
whether she was saying I wasn't welcome. Although she did not answer
that question directly, I got the distinct impression she was telling
me not to come.

Love & Liberty,
        ((( starchild )))

Rob,
  
  Now that you mention it, I do recall Francoise mentioning about an
advance RSVP when she offered to host. But obviously I wasn't the
only one who let it slip their mind, and probably if I'd thought
about it at the time and realized how stringently it was intended to
be enforced and the problems this might cause, I would have taken her
cue to volunteer to organize a party elsewhere. Lest you forget, I
was also the host of an LPSF social event for several years, the
Direct Action Forum (later the Activist Forum). And I recall some
criticism about those events not always being announced in a timely
fashion, but I don't seem to recall you ever being worried about it
pissing me off.

  Jean Kennedy was pissed off because I responded to an email she'd
sent. She had said she didn't want to receive any more emails about
the fact that I was requesting vegetarian food as a condition of
doing a debate with Tim Starr on animal rights. She'd accused me of
trying to tell her how to run her event, when I was simply proposing
a condition for my participation and attempting to discuss it. When I
responded to this accusation -- if I sent an email to you and another
person making such a charge, and told you I didn't want to see a
response from you, what would you do? -- she said she was canceling
the debate between Tim and I and I shouldn't come. When I
subsequently showed up uninvited in person at Free Exchange and
publicly asked her in front of everyone if she wanted me to leave,
she did not ask me to do so. After that event however, she let me
know I was never welcome to come back.

  But you seem to be making this into a personal attack, bringing up
unrelated stuff that happened years ago. Is that your intention?
Evidently being on your ledge made much more of an impression on you
than it did on me, because I barely remember the incident. Your
"jumped up" sounds like an exaggerated description of what occurred.
While as I said I don't recall the details of that, I know I
certainly was not risking my life. This society is often rather
obsessive when it comes to trying to force other people to behave
"safely" for their own good, if you haven't noticed. But I guess
living in a place where the management puts the premises under
surveillance and gives you grief about your guests' harmless actions
at a party wasn't the problem, I was the problem.

      ((( starchild )))