62) Wonder drug inspires deep, unwavering love of pharmaceutical companies

62) Wonder drug inspires deep, unwavering love of pharmaceutical companiesThe Bush administration hailed the approval of PharmAmorin. However, behind the scenes
it seems that the administration is holding back on approving it for Medicaid payments.
While the exact cause of the delay is not known, it is believed to be related to development
delays in the drug Republitopia.

Initial tests of Republitopia have shown it is indeed effective in reducing the desire of
study participants to reduce the size of government - it's intended effect. In the
control group, which were given a placebo, nearly 30 percent of the subjects had a
desire to reduce the role of government, with over 60 percent saying reduced taxes
were a good thing. By contrast, in the group taking Republitopia, only one percent
still wanted less government, and over 90 percent of the users of Republitopia were offering
to take a vow of poverty in return for a promise they would be continuously supervised
for anti-social behavior with cameras installed in their living quarters. Users apparently
had a nearly unquenchable desire to satisfy anyone they believed to be in a position
of authority. When interviewed, our source said "It makes me feel so much more secure
when I imagine that this call is probably being monitored."

The resistant one percent have been identified from voting records as having
another, related affliction that Republitopia is less effective against.

The problem with Republitopia is apparently with regard to its non-specificity. Persons
who took the pill apparently were completely indifferent as to who their masters were.
Said an administration spokesperson, "Republitopia still causes a certain 'madness' in some
users, which is exhibited by their strong urge to share their former wealth with each other,
rather than turning it over to authority. We worry this will allow users of the drug
to be taken advantage of by trial lawyers and other unsavory types with anti-family motives."

The administration is saying that Republitopia will not be given FDA approval until
this problem is solved. Off the record, an administration official told this reporter that
PharmAmorin "was not going to see one red cent of Medicaid money until Republitopia
development is completed to our satisfaction."